


Mamae

by awknerdlol



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-08-16 03:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20184544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awknerdlol/pseuds/awknerdlol
Summary: Raised throughout Thedas by the Chargers, Lucretia had heard all sorts of heroic tales about Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan. Being an elf herself, she admired the Inquisitor for being the first of the elves to be acknowledged by humankind, but any of her efforts to bring peace to have been destroyed in the passing years. Raised in a civil war between humans and elves, Lucretia is forced to choose between the family she had always known or her kin by blood.Tl:drBeing a family is hard.





	1. Lucretia the Elf

“Once upon a time, there was an evil tevinter magister. He looked at the sky and ripped a bunch of green holes through it. And as a wise dwarf once said,'This shit is weird.'"

A child's voice interrupted the qunari's narrative.

"Krem said that cursing was bad. I thought that we weren’t allowed to curse."

"And I thought you were too old for bedtime stories. Now, let me finish."

Iron Bull cleared his throat.

"The rifts in the sky spouted all sorts of demons. Corypheus nearly took over Thedas with his demon army," he grunted. "No one did anything. No one could do anything. Heck, people made cults honoring the rifts. People were ready to lie down and die. Just when everyone had lost their hope, an elvhen woman walked out of the fade."

"You aren't as good at storytelling as Varric."

"Kid, do you want me to tell you a bedtime story or not?"

The little girl immediately clasped both hands over her mouth. He let out a chuckle and rustled her hair.

"She was said to be the Herald of Andraste; sent by the heavens herself in our time of need and all that crap.'"

"But she was an elf."

"Well, she didn’t believe it and the Chantry didn’t think so either. But after miracle after miracle, how could anyone think differently? Anyway, she was the most badass elf ever. On the battlefield, she'd be stabbing and uppercutting enemies to death. She saved the empress' life, led huge armies, and ran around slaying dragons. Corypheus was no match for her. She beat the shit out of Corypheus and was crowned a hero."

"But, what happened to her after she defeated Corypheus? Did she not have a vhenan? Varric always ends the story with **someone**."

Iron Bull looked at the small elvhen child. Her pale blond hair and forest green eyes reminded him of the bravest woman he had ever known. Bull had wanted to tell her the truth; she deserved to know. He didn't want her to learn about it from anyone else. He owed it to Ellana. To the mother Lucretia barely remembers.

"As a matter of fact, she did marry someone. They loved each other very much and lived happily ever after."

But she is only a child.


	2. Lucretia the Bitsy

“Bull, I don’t think I’m suited for using daggers,” Lucretia frowned, ashamed of her lack of ability. “It just… it just doesn’t feel right.”

The child nervously shifted her weight back and forth, not meeting Bull’s eyes.

“Bah, you’ve only started training recently. I’m sure that you’ll get the hang of it with a little bit of practice,” he grinned, hoping to put the child at ease.

She didn’t look pleased about his response. She held the wooden daggers closer to her chest, trying to explain herself.

“Mamae was good...,” she mumbled; the rest of the sentence made incomprehensible.

Iron Bull suddenly lifted Lucretia into the air which caused her to squeak in surprise. Holding the child in his arms, Bull attempted to talk to her once more.

“Sorry Bitsy, I couldn’t hear you from down there. You’re going to have to repeat that.”

Her nose wrinkled in distaste, while Bull mischievously smiled.

“I hate that name.”

“Well, after you bit the chief on his man bosoms, what else were we supposed to call you?” Krem huffed as he approached the pair. “What’s wrong with the little princess today?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Bull spoke. Lucretia hesitated before speaking once more.

“Mamae was with good daggers, so I asked to train with Skinner. But I don’t like using daggers. Skinner says that I need to get close and it's scary being so close,” she began to tear up and attempted to bury her face into Bull's bare shoulder. "But I wanna be like Mamae."

Krem and Bull shared a glance before Bull handed the crying child over to Krem.

"C'mere, you crybaby. Chin up. No more tears. You're a Charger," Krem cooed as he carried Lucretia out of sight. "You might be smaller than most kids, but I shouldn't be carrying you at this age anymore. Let's see if we could find a bow small enough for you."

Some days Bull regretted telling her about Ellana. At that moment, they seem to do more harm than good. Perhaps he has been too soft on Lucretia, but the Qun never taught him how to raise a child. The Chargers weren't much help: most coming from harsh childhoods themselves or having little to none interest in children. He doesn't know how he would have managed if it weren't for Krem and Dorian: despite the latter being miles away.

Maybe he shouldn't have told her about Ellana until she was older. Until she was her own person. Maybe-

His thoughts were interrupted by a girl's scream coming from the tents. Alarmed by the commotion, Bull rushed over and yanked open the tent flap. The first thing the qunari saw was Krem's pale face.

"Chief, she..." Krem started; shaken by whatever was happening behind him.

No longer able to hear his surroundings, Bull pushed passed him and spotted Lucretia sitting on the floor. Kneeling to match her height, he noticed she was cradling her left hand. He noticed the smell of burning flesh in the air while Krem yammered about finding help.

"C'mon, Bitsy," he gently spoke. "Show me."

She looked him in the eye. Her wide eyes and heavy breathing were pleading with him. She turned over and revealed her burnt hand. Bloody and black, her hand was almost unrecognizable.

"Shit," Bull breathed. "What happened?"

"I... I don't know," she whimpered. "I wanted to show Krem a trick. There was a fire. And I held it. It appeared in my hand and I just held it. But then it started  **burning** . It wasn’t supposed to burn."

Suddenly, Krem returned with Stitches who immediately knelt down and began examining the wound.

“Krem, grab Dalish,” Bull ordered.

“Chief?” Krem asked confused at the sudden command.

“We’ve got another mage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this made me realize I do not know how kids talk.


	3. Lucretia the Apostate

"Are we there yet?" asked Lucretia brandishing her new 'bow'.

"Not yet," huffed Iron Bull. "A few more minutes. Slow down Bitsy. The tavern isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

"You don't know that. What if a mage whisks it away?"

"Like you?"

"Not like me. An  **evil** one."

"Do you mean a Vint?"

"You think after all these years you'd withhold such a small mindset, amatus," a familiar voice from behind the mercenary group called as they entered the tavern.

"You know very well that's the only 'small' part of me," Bull grinned before approaching the magister.

"Chief..." Krem growled. "Not in front of the kid."

Bull's grin only grew larger.

"Dorian!" Lucretia exclaimed as she ran to embrace the tevinter.

"My, you've grown. I can feel my age when I look at you," Dorian sighed thoughtfully.

"Can you teach me some new spells? I've been practicing."

He gave Bull a look. Bull's face fell realizing that this meeting isn't purely for pleasure.

"Actually, Bull and I have some business to attend to. I'm sorry, little one. Perhaps later."

After another quick hug, Dorian headed upstairs with the Qunari in tow, both wearing sullen expressions.

"Krem, did something happen?" Lucretia asked. Krem hesitated before ushering her to the rest of the Chargers.

"Nothing we couldn't handle," he lied. "Now, help me keep the others in check before we get kicked out of yet another bar."

With Krem attending to his fellow Chargers, Lucretia silently crept up the stairs. She's always been talented at sneaking around. Bull used to tell her she would make a fine scout before she received her powers. Had previously asked the Innkeeper which room Dorian was residing in, she pressed her ear to the door. She could hear Bull's and Dorian's muffled voices.

"...entirely selfish of you," Dorian spat.

"Look, I understand your's and Vivienne's concerns. The letters both of you sent makes sense-," Bull argued.

"Vishante kaffas! If so, why not send her to the Circle? They can nurture her talent."

"Kadan, Divine Victoria has done a good job, but you can't tell me the Circle isn't still working out their little kinks."

"I'll take her then. I have a stable position within the Imperium and allied myself with magisters with similar mindsets. Enemies would think twice before attacking us. I can oversee her studies and-"

"You do realize she's an elf, right? Are you talking about slavery?"

"It'll be like a title. Formality, mind you."

"No."

"Lucretia's a mage. She needs proper training that you and your band of mercenaries cannot offer."

Her stomach dropped. They were talking about her. They were talking about sending her away.

"We have a mage. She can train her."

"In your letter, you wrote and I quote, 'Dalish is leaving for her clan soon. What do I do Dorian?'"

She hadn’t known that. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay with the Chargers.

"Bah, don't source me and I did not write that last bit."

"You might as well have been. I've told you before that your nomadic lifestyle is no environment to raise a child. Especially, a mage."

"The Dalish do just fine."

"But you are not the Dalish. You are not a community whose sole purpose is raising the next generation."

There was a moment of silence where the only sound Lucretia could hear was the sound of her heartbeat. Then she hears the sound of muffled weeping.

“I’m sorry, Kadan. I can’t do it. I know you’re scared for her. You're thinking about what is best for her," Bull managed. "Heck, I don't think I know what's best for her. But I've kept her safe all these years. I don't feel that she's safe anywhere but by my side."

"You big oaf. Here I am, worried about her day and night, and you come swaggering in with such confidence," Dorian simpered. "I need some fresh air."

Lucretia scrambled off the door, intending to head back downstairs. However, just as she moved, the door swung open. Dorian's eyes widened at the sight of her.

"Were you... were you listening?" Dorian whispered almost horrified.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Then she swallowed and tried again.

"Please don’t make me go," she cried. “Dorian, please.”

"I heard what happened with Chief and Dorian," started Krem as he sat on the edge of the tavern bed.

"Are they upset?" she asked from under her covers.

"Well, they're worried about you, but that's about it. Chief sent me in here to check up on you."

"I don't want to leave. What if Bull changes his mind?"

Krem snorted at the thought.

"Chief is too much of a mother hen to just up and dump you outside some Chantry."

She peeled back a part of the covers revealing her vibrant green eyes.

"What about Dorian?"

"Worried out of his wits. He didn't mean to upset you."

"I think I made him cry."

"To be fair, he's a little sensitive. A lot of things make him cry. Don't take it to heart."

She giggles.

"I've seen him cry over clothes."

"I'm sure you did. They're waiting for you downstairs. You should tell them that you want to stay."

"I worried them both, didn't I?"

Krem hums in agreement.

"You sure did."

Lucretia pushed off the sheets and slipped out of her bed. She grabs Krem's hand when he stands up.

"Let's go downstairs. Dorian says that I should always say sorry when I hurt someone."


	4. Dareth Shiral

_ Here lies Ellana. The woman who conquered dreams and beyond. Dareth Shiral. May you finally put down your blades and rest. _

"Did Mamae not have a clan name? She was Dalish, wasn’t she?" Lucretia wondered as she read the tombstone. They were on a vast cliff overseeing the Emerald Graves. Once, Bull recalled, they fought a dragon not too far away from there.

"She **was**," solemnly spoke Bull as he replaced long-dead flowers on top of the grave. "She was ashamed that she lost her markings, so she never went back. She didn’t feel like she was Dalish anymore, so she didn’t want it on her grave. Ever wonder why you don't have an elvhen name?"

“No. Not really.”

Gone was Bull’s relaxed demeanor. His hunched shoulders and knelt position all pointed to a grieving man. 

“I’ve brought Bitsy, boss. Sorry, we haven’t been able to visit much,” he apologized. “We’ve been busy. The Chargers are a lot smaller now that most went to do their own shit.”

“Aneth ara, Mamae. It’s nice to see you again.” Lucretia down beside Bull.

Sometimes her mother’s death didn’t feel real to her. From the stories Varric and Bull tell, she used to think her mother is simply busy. That she’ll be back later. But as the memory of her mother’s appearance faded over time, Lucretia was left with an empty feeling. 

“Everyone misses you. Especially Dorian, but I’m sure you already know that.”

* * *

"Surprised to see another group around these parts," called one of the armed men who had been setting camp. Bull squinted at the strangers before relaxing his features. With a slight of his hand, he pulled Lucretia's hood further over her head and slightly pushed her behind him.

“Wanted to pay our respects to an old friend,” Bull responded. “There’s a lot of graves around here.”

“Aye, didn’t mean to accuse. Just be careful. Heard there's been sightings of elves around the area.”

“Thanks. We’ll keep that in mind.”

Elves? That wasn’t right. The elvhen forces were headed towards the Imperium, Leliana's spies had told them so. Lucretia turned to look at Krem with a confused look on her face. Krem shook his head. _ Not now. _

Bull had them set up camp far later and farther than they usually did. He told everyone to be on guard that night.

“They weren’t just another mercenary group," Bull grunted. “This is going to be a tough battle, Chargers. Rocky, set up traps around the perimeter.”

He turned his gaze to Lucretia. “Krem, you’re with Bitsy. Keep them off her for me.”

As Lucretia opened her mouth to argue that Krem would be better of by his side, Bull cut her off. 

“Look, you’re new at this and we’re outnumbered. Once you start with the sparks, they’re gonna come after you.”

Lucretia shut her mouth as Bull continued to throw around orders. Krem placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

“You heard the big guy. You’re stuck with me,” he grinned. “You can’t take them all of them yourself just yet.”

“I don’t like that he’s going without anyone to watch his back,” she whispered to him. “He’s going to get himself killed one day.”

Krem snorts at the thought.

“He wouldn’t stay dead even if we did kill him. C’mon, has Chief ever steered us wrong? Have some faith.”

The Iron Bull gave one last hurrah.

“Alright, Chargers. Horns up!”

* * *

Lucretia twirled her staff between her fingers; focused on shielding and casting electricity when she could. Had yet to learn the larger scale spells, streaks of chain lightning erupted from the tip of her staff as she pointed to the nearest enemy.

"Is that all you've got? A fish slaps harder than you," Bull taunted from the center of the battlefield. He swung his two-handed sword over his head. "Come at me! Give me something I can remember when I'm pleasuring myself tonight!"

"Gross," Lucretia whispered under her breath as she ducked from an enemy's swing. While the sword misses her head by a few centimeters, her hood slid off, revealing her face.

"Found the elf! We're going to be rich boys! Tevinter's going-" he started before Krem slammed the butt of his sword against his head. 

"It's always gotta be Tevinter," Krem drawled as he parried an oncoming attack, giving Lucretia an opportunity to send a bolt at their attacker. "Nice one."

"Area's thinning out. Most of them are heading to the Chief," reported Stitches. 

Krem shared a glance with Lucretia and rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop your worrying. I'll head over there myself, you stay here. Don’t do anything Chief would do."

"Don't worry about her. I've got her," Stitches called out.

Krem gave his thanks and moved to the opposite side of the battlefield. 

Lucretia and Stitches cleared out the few straggling slavers in the area when the commanding enemy suddenly called out.

"Call for the Atlas," he yelled at one of his subordinates. "We need back up!"

From a distance, Lucretia spotted Bull, his right leg profusely bleeding, noticing the exchange. He shouted at a ragged Krem what seemed to be an order to retreat. Slowed by his injury, Iron Bull was noticeably slower in his movements. Lucretia started towards them, for she couldn't cast shield at that distance. 

The Atlas gracefully spun her staff casting a fireball straight at Bull.

"No!" Lucretia managed to scream.

Seconds before the fireball managed to hit him, Krem shoved him out of the way resulting in an explosion. 

"Krem?" Lucretia called, but Krem did not rise.

As the smoke cleared, Bull took one look at Krem's burnt body and roared at the sky.


End file.
